Thursday, December 10, 2009

Champion's League Record for Most Acne

....err youth, actually. In all fairness, despite the loss, fielding a team with the average age of 20 (or 21, depending on whose report you read) is an amazing accomplishment that would probably never be duplicated by the likes of a team such as, say, Man City, who would probably just assume plop down ₤3 million for 11 wax figures resembling popular soccer players their Dubai owners saw once on TV rather than actually develop their own talent. Overall a good performance by the kids.

Oh and by the way, we've got a player named Tom Cruise. Can we just get that out of the way right now? We know this slightly taller version of the real thing has probably endured a fair share of "You complete me" quotes by teammates or perhaps the occasional "Help me, help you!" invocation by Wenger in training, so we'll do our best to refrain from such shameless on-air crutches during our next show....honest (wink).

Full marks to the voice immodulation-challenged Aaron Ramsey for looking all the world like he had more ability and poise in one follicle of his Abercrombie and Fitch-perfect hair than Carlos Vela and Theo Walcott had in both their bodies put together (although this combination would admittedly only occupy about as much mass as a Shitzu). With Arsenal first teamers bugging out in droves for their annual injury leave, Ramsey's chance at a fair share of first team play time will surely come sooner rather than later.

Hopefully our highly professional (and when I say highly professional I mean unconvincing yet effective) win over Stoke has fully restored Wenger's all-important "belief" in his team ahead of our trip to Anfield this Sunday. In the absence of so many attacking options expect the pack-the-midfield-and-squirt-a-half-chance-out-for-Arshavin formation (that's our 4-5-1 formation to the layman....or is it 4-6-0?). Luckily Jamie Carragher's high-pitched voice is the only form of resistance Liverpool's defense has been able to muster lately so I'm going to predict a scoreline of 1) 3-1 and 2) 4-1 if a beach ball is thrown into Liverpool's defensive third. Beach ball or not Arsenal Review USA will be on the air at 4:30 EST to relive all this week's action. Have a good weekend and support your Gunners!

- Joel