Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Assault and Victory

Uh huh, uh HUH...who said we'd win two games on the trot against Bolton?! Yes, only here at Arsenal Review USA, the home of other great predictions like "We'll beat Chelsea 2-1...we're at home after all!" and "I think that van Persie lad has been really loading up on his calcium, as his legs look sturdy enough for an entire season!" Just for the record on that last one, he didn't sustain any actual breaks, so I hereby claim partial vindication....

And can I just point out that we're top of the league? I certainly think we've earned it after two bruising encounters against Bolton, apparently a little too bruising for the likes of Owen Coyle, who ironically described Gallas' tackle on Mark Davies as "assault." I guess if he wants to use that particular term he's perfectly entitled to, considering his side have been giving it a whole new meaning the last few years. Pardon my lack of sympathy, but Arsene Wenger would certainly agree judging from his wry comment that Bolton are "not in a situation to complain about our physical game" during his post-match interview.

One thing Owen might want to complain about is the fact that his players, whose only saving grace (and I use the word "grace" very loosely) is their ability to pack their defensive third, lost a game after pulling ahead by two goals. Yes, you've done the math right, the only way you can lose a game after securing that kind of a lead is by conceding THREE goals, unless you're feeling especially generous and out of the goodness of your heart you ship a fourth for good measure, in which case, technically, you' do you say, BLOWN the game. But then again I can only assume his post-match venting was more on account of his shiny 0-2 record rather than anything diabolical from Arsenal, so let's give this poor, misunderstood man who left a team of overachieving crusaders for a new squad of perpetually underachieving thugs for reasons which in no way shape or form coincide with the word "money" the benefit of the doubt.

But now let's emerge from the unpleasant, sticky and slightly stale fog that is all things Bolton and bask in the rays which one can only experience at the apex of creation, aka the top of the Premiership. It is quite nice up here, isn't it? Especially when you haven't squandered a czar's fortune just to get here. Pssh, nevermind a czar's fortune, Arsenal didn't even have to expend players with fully functional legs. Just imagine where we'd be if half of our team WASN'T lame...but at the risk of stealing someone else's words almost EXACTLY, I must wrap this up. Besides, as an Arsenal fan I have to exercise discipline and spread out the elation that comes when atop the Premiership quite miserly, as I've no idea when I'll be given another dose. So, that being said, that's all from me tonight. Well done boys, you've dug deep to unearth yet another sparkling performance, and I have no doubt that you can do it several more times this season. How about Sunday? Right, let's plan on that...

Come on Arsenal!